Making Progress

Ok, yes, this a semi-rant.  I'm in the middle of watching old episodes of Sabrina the Teenage Witch (with Melissa Joan Hart) and I'm waiting for the video to load, lamenting the fact that my new hookah hose hasn't arrived in the mail yet, and denying the fact that I have to go to work in an hour.

I've been thinking about this for a while now.  On the journey to acceptance of myself, I need to periodically examine why I do certain things when I know that every time I do these things, they don't turn out well for me.

Right now, I'm at a job where I'm not being promoted because I'm too good at the current job I'm doing.  It's really unfair.  To give myself credit, I've just applied to different places this week, so I'm making progress :)  I work on my university's campus and I applied to work at the library.  My current job involves calling alumni for money for the university - I'm really good at it, I even have my name on a plaque, but I've been passed up for supervisor three times now.

I've made a promise to myself.  School is about to start, and they have 3 new openings for supervisor because 3 people are leaving.  I've lined up this other job at the library, and if I don't get promoted for this time, I won't be staying around and wasting my time at this job.  I'll take the job at the library, and the Call Center can lose all of the revenue I bring in for the university, AND the experience that I have.

I've talked to my bosses about it before, and I got a straight answer from one of them at least.  He said that as soon as they can get people to bridge the gap of revenue from the money they raised before I started working and the revenue that I bring in by calling, I'll be moved up to a higher position.  I got so angry when he told me that.  IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT THE OTHERS DON'T BRING IN AS MUCH AS I DO.  I shouldn't be punished for others not doing their job as well as my bosses want them to.  It's not fair.

I'm so done with this job.  ugh.  BUT like I said, if I'm not promoted this time - they announce promotions before the start of the semester at a back to school party/ceremony - then I'm going to go work at the library.  It doesn't pay as much starting, but there are mandatory raises that go by how well you perform - which is what I was told would happen at the Call Center, but OBVIOUSLY that's not how it works.  I can also do homework while I'm at the library, which is good for me.

One of the things that bothers me about leaving is that I don't want to leave because I really have made good connections with some of the people I work with.  That is what I'm talking about when I talk about acceptance.  I think that the old me would've stayed in this dead end job, not being promoted, so that I could still hang out with the people I've made a connection with.

I'm not sure if there even IS a new me or anything, but I know for sure that no matter what, I deserve more respect than what I'm getting right now, and I'm not going to stay around at this job waiting for my bosses to give it to me, when I know they're never going to.  At the end of the summer, at the welcome back party, if they don't promote me, I'm quitting this job and I'm going to work at the library.  This is a promise I've made to myself because I deserve better than what I'm getting at this job right now, and I know it for a fact.

Yay for confidence in myself and believing that I deserve better!  I think I'm making progress :)